Nine bikes hit by the Ugly Stick
Some motorcycles were tapped ever so lightly with it, others repeatedly whacked — here are nine motorcycles we believe are a long way from being easy on the eye1. GILERA CX125
Dear Gilera, there’s a very good reason why no one has ever tried to fit a hub cap to a motorcycle. Not only does it make the handling enormously dubious in a cross wind, but it looks ridiculous. Sure, the single-sided front and rear ends were innovative and somewhat impressive when you unveiled it at the 1991 EICMA motorcycle show in Milan, but faux hubcaps are never a good way to highlight technology. Okay?
2. BMW MOTORRAD R 1200 C
What scares us the most about a lot of these bikes from the ’90s is that one day, heaven forbid, they be back in fashion. Though it's hard to imagine a hipster of the day swaggering towards his BMW R 1200 C as onlookers are wooed by his coolness. This bike was so unfortunate looking that even James Bond looked ridiculous riding it.
3. SUZUKI B-KING
Here was a bike that came so close. The 2001 concept bike unveiled at the Tokyo Motor Show had promise of a snarling 250hp supercharged Hayabusa engine and tough brutish looks to boot. What eventuated was a well-behaved big-bore nakedbike with a front-end that was more Gladius than Gladiator and rear-end reminiscent of the tailfins on a 1950s Cadillac.
4. MuZ SKORPIAN
It was 1993 when the first truly new MuZ was released from the German brand once known simply as MZ. Named the Skorpian, it was powered by Yamaha’s 660 single-cylinder engine and was surprisingly well received for a bike with spindly forks, a thick tubular frame, crude bodywork and a fender extender.
5. BUELL THUNDERBOLT
Would any list of unattractive motorcycles be complete without at least one Buell in it? Regardless of the innovation and capabilities of its motorcycles, the American-made roadbikes have never aspired to be machines of beauty, not least the firm’s early-model thunderbox, err, Thunderbolt.
6. YAMAHA VIRAGO 250
The long-standing 250cc cruiser is proof that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Enormously successful since its 1988 release, the only reason it has made this list is because it hasn’t changed a bit since day dot. I’ll concede it makes the perfect canvas for an inexpensive custom build, but by definition, any bike released in the ’80s still on showroom floors is going to be in need of a cosmetic revamp.
7. APRILIA MOTO 6.5
Remember this thing? You could imagine the mid-’90s Aprilia personnel buzzing with excitement around its sophisticated interpretation of the modern motorcycle. It was a concept bike which reached production and, while it generated plenty of publicity when it was released in 1995, it was for all the wrong reasons. It was designed by French kitchenware designer Phillipe Starck and, well, it shows.
8. BMW MOTORRAD C1
First of all, I’d like to apologise to BMW Motorrad for making the list twice. But anyone bold enough to design a 12-inch wheeled scooter with a roof, windscreen wiper and a seatbelt is probably tough enough to take the hit.
9. MOTO MORINI 501 EXCALIBUR
Comstar wheels, a king-and-queen seat and a face only a mother could love, the late ’80s wasn’t kind to the Italian-made cruiser. Okay, so it grew into itself slightly as the years passed, but that initial 1986 version was, frankly, ugly as a hatful. Adding insult to injury was the fact that there was a 350cc version released at the same time.
10. WHAT’S YOURS?
If you had to crown one motorcycle Captain Ugly, what would it be?
Tags
Please see our Editorial Guidelines & Code of Ethics (including for more information about sponsored content and paid events). The information published on this website is of a general nature only and doesn’t consider your particular circumstances or needs.
