Honda CBR954RR vs Kawasaki ZX-9R vs Suzuki GSX-R1000 vs Yamaha YZF-R1

"If I go down the road I'm going to sue his bloody arse off. I don't care what damage happens to the bike, but if there's just one little scratch on any part of me, let alone a broken bone, I'm gunna sue."

The words belonged to AMCN ad man and D&D virgin Russell 'dummy spitter' Malley, and he was in deep and animated conversation with fellow sad sack, Sam 'grumpy' Maclachlan. And he was deadly serious.

I didn't have to be Einstein to see that the duo weren't happy. Just how unhappy though caught even me by surprise...

SERIOUS SITUATION
Their threat of mutiny should have alerted me to the seriousness of the situation, with both Russell and Sam preferring the option of a U-turn atop the summit and a ride back from whence they had come.

I guess the ice on the road, the snowflakes settling on Russell's visor and the billowing white snowstorm approaching along the ridge had given them justifiable cause for concern. To them, a warm bed in nearby Cooma looked decidedly more attractive than another three hours of riding over dark and treacherous mountainous roads in the wintery conditions.

Bloody hell, what did they expect. This was after all AMCN's infamous annual Dumb & Dumber run through the high country.

The fact that we were astride four of the most potent sports motorcycles on the planet in conditions more suitable for snowmobiles was of course only a minor consideration...

Nevertheless, it had seemed like a good idea at the time. Why not take Honda's CBR954RR, Kawasaki's ZX-9R, Suzuki's GSX-R1000 and Yamaha's YZF-R1 on the ultimate road test.

A road test that would complement AMCN's recent Master Bike ultimate track shootout of the four (Vol 51 No 22). And a road test that would highlight real-world use in real Aussie road conditions - usable power, suspension compliance on bumpy Aussie roads, power and feel of the front anchors, riding comfort over extended distances - oh, and feel at the throttle on, errr, somewhat slippery surfaces.

It would be interesting to see if the overall ranking of the four bikes from Master Bike would be different after a three-day thrash over the magic bike roads through the Snowy Mountains. The fastest laptime on a race circuit doesn't necessarily equate to the 'fastest' laptime around AMCN's 1450km D&D route. Could Suzuki's GSX-R1000 hold on to its Master Bike crown on the road? Roll on Dumb & Dumber VI...

WORLD DOMINANCE
Suzuki's $18,390 GSX-R1000 swept all before it in 2001, with dominance on the world's racetracks and honours in both AMCN's Motorcycle Of The Year and the International Bike Of The Year awards. When you're on a good thing, stick to it. But 2002 has heralded new competition for the GSX-R with new models from the other three.

Australia's top-selling roadbike in the past three years (and an oh so close runner-up in 1998), Yamaha's YZF-R1, scores a new chassis for 2002, even more aggressive styling and fuel-injection, but at $18,699 it's also the most expensive of this quartet.

Kawasaki's $17,990 ZX-9R looks the most visually similar to its predecessor, but underneath the bodywork are numerous changes to both engine and chassis of the 2002 incarnation.

Which leaves Honda's CBR954RR FireBlade as the bike with the most comprehensive revamp for 2002, in looks, chassis and powerplant. At $17,290 it undercuts Yamaha's R1 by $1409.

The plot was quite simple. Take the four bikes away for three days through a variety of road conditions, and find a real-world winner. Yes, it all sounded quite simple...

WHERE'S SLAPPER?
Needless to say, smooth sailing is rarely part of the AMCN script. D&D regular Slapper Bracks was a non-starter this year, his first miss in six years of braving the high country. He muttered something about having to do some gardening instead on the scheduled D&D weekend.

So what's new - Slapper had done some 'gardening' on the past two D&Ds on a Tmax (2001) and an Aprilia RS250 (2000). At least this year I suppose Bracksy's repair bill would more than likely be limited to spilt herbacide and a broken pair of secateurs rather than fairing panels and handlebars.

Of course the question remained as to whether there'd be anyone to take over the renowned Bracks' whinging - from complaining about an overcooked steak, to sleeping arrangements, to weather conditions, to fuel-stop delays. I needn't have worried, even though it took two to fill the Slapper gap.

That meant the travelling party would comprise the two mutineers - Russell and Sam - AMCN 'intern' Simon, sharpshooter Phil Smith (on AMCN's long-term Honda SP-1) and myself.

MOTHER HEN
For once the early morning kick-off wasn't at a suburban Maccas, and for once I was only 20 minutes late rather than 40. Luckily for the rest of the crew I was mounted on the ZX-9R, as it's the easiest of the quartet to attach luggage to. That broad pillion seat and those flip-out ocky attachment 'hooks' under the pillion squab are excellent, the latter probably saving me 15 minutes in getting underway by avoiding the hassle of applying additional protective racetape and extra ocky straps.

As AMCN 'mother hen', I need all the luggage capacity I can summon to fit in the chain lube, duct tape, first-aid kit, tyre-repair kit, camera gear, etc, etc. And the ZX-9R was the pick of the bunch.

The Kwaka was also the preferred steed for the early morning gallop eastwards along the Princes Highway through Gippsland, the ZX-9R's more expansive fairing offering greater protection from the elements. Strange how I'd scored the favoured steed...

There was no sign whatsoever of the iced-up carbs and stuttery power delivery that I've experienced on some ram-air Kawasakis in the past (ZX-7R and ZX-6R in particular) in similar conditions - that being cold, moist air, usually with a hint of fog. The testing carried out in southern Victoria in recent years by the Japanese factory's R&D engineers has obviously paid dividends - as well as proving that they must also read AMCN road tests!

As my track time at Spain's Almeria circuit for Master Bike proved, the ZX-9R is more road oriented than the other three. That additional comfort was appreciated as we headed for The Mad Cow Tearooms at Stratford, Vic (tel 03 5145 6144) for the customary big brekky, and it wasn't until we hit the twisties later on that the additional weight (17kg heavier than the CBR954RR) and more physical nature of the ZX-9R's handling told against it, especially where constant changes of direction in tight going was required.

Once the open sweepers were reached the Kawasaki's relative bulk wasn't as obvious and it could use its impressive top-end to advantage. That glorious up-top Kawasaki howl is still there in the ZX-9R's latest guise, from both exhaust and ram-air inlet - a point proven by the Ninja top-scoring in the static noise test.

ADDICTIVE POWER
Next up for me on the infamous AMCN Bike Rotation System (BRS) was Suzuki's GSX-R1000, and the overwhelming impression is of that engine. Hey, we're talking 10 percent more mumbo at the rear wheel than Honda's new FireBlade, and bucketloads of usable torque. It truly is an addictive powerplant.

I even found myself 'playing' with the Suzi's throttle at times to keep myself amused, which isn't such a good idea on such a heavily-policed section of road as the Princes, Monaro or Snowy Mountains Highways. A simple roll-on to overtake a car can have 180kmh appear on the digital speedo before you've had a chance to blink. You've been warned.

What was it that 2002 Isle of Man winner David Jefferies said - anyone who wants to modify a GSX-R1000 engine "needs dragging around the back of a building and beating with a big stick". And this from the man who set a new outright lap record of 127.29mph on his GSX-R1000!

It's only when you climb off the Suzi on to the YZF-R1 or CBR954RR that you realise how 'big' the GSX-R1000 is. Mmm, something's amiss - there is only a 4kg weight difference (with full tanks) between these three when measured on AMCN's electronic scales.

Yes, I know it's all relative, but that wide Suzuki tank makes the GSX-R1000 feel much bigger than it really is. The Suzuki's wide fairing and broad screen add to the effect, so much so that there was quite a bit of debate as to whether the ZX-9R or GSX-R1000 offered the best weather protection of the quartet. A GSX-R1000 as a sportstourer?

Ridden 'normally' (ie legally), the GSX-R1000 offers the best stability of the four via an extremely rigid chassis package with the firmest suspension. However, should you deem it necessary to give your right wrist some violent rotational exercises, then don't be surprised if the front end points instantly towards the heavens and your underpants to correspondingly point towards the laundry basket. That's not a reflection of bad manners - just awesome power!

CRAB RACES
In fact, "bad manners" isn't a term you could direct at any of these bikes, something the deteriorating conditions adequately proved.

Our destination on the first evening was the bike-friendly pub at Tathra on the New South Wales south coast (tel 02 6494 1101), but we still had 300km of sinewy bitumen to traverse, some of it still damp from recent showers. Add in some mossy bits in the shadows, and user-friendliness was high on the wanted list if we were to make the pub in time to not only view Winky The Whale's appearance, but to introduce Simon to the cut-throat world of Tathra crab racing.

It was over these variable road conditions from Bairnsdale to Orbost (via the Bruthen back road), Cann River and Eden that the fuel-injection of the Yamaha earned plenty of friends, backing that up a mere 24 hours later on the icy roads near Thredbo.

There's no doubt that the 'feel' at the throttle of fuel-injected sportsbikes has been on the improve ever since the RC45 appeared in 1994, but the new R1 takes it to a new level.

Even Yamaha itself didn't get it quite right with the exotic YZF-R7 Superbike, changing the racekit throttle bodies partway through the development cycle. But the new-generation R1 system is quite a step forward, which should have pushed the R1 to the top of the 'must have' list for when we hit the snowfields.

However, counteracting the R1 throttle's user-friendliness was a clunky gearbox and brakes that felt a bit wooden, not only in relation to the other three bikes, but also compared to earlier R1s. This was something noted at Master Bike as well. Perhaps a change of pad material will bring back some of the bite.

STUNNING LOOKS
One thing not in dispute is the R1's stunning looks, with the silver version getting the nod as the pick of the three colour options. If you want to get noticed on the Sunday morning latte run, buy the R1.

Another thing not in dispute is the R1's diminutive stature and boy-racer feel, with both it and the CBR954RR feeling much, much smaller than the other two.

Where the R1 also scores highly is in the suspension department, replicating its #1 ranking in that category on the track at Master Bike over real-world Aussie roads. The words plush and compliant instantly spring to mind.

Mind you, compliant isn't a term I felt like applying to my mutinous colleagues as I attempted to conduct another BRS bike swap at Thredbo, with Nurse Wootton's B&B at Tallangatta our target for the end of Day Two. We'd already done our fair share of BRS changes since departing Tathra and heading through Bega, over Brown Mountain to Nimmitabel, then on to Cooma, Berridale, Jindabyne and ultimately Thredbo in the Kosciusko National Park.

Russell's threat of legal action was indeed a first for an AMCN road test - and one I had to take seriously. I was thus my usual understanding and compassionate self when confronted by my two disenchanted staffers, Dummy and Grumpy.

"What are ya - a couple of soft cocks? Stop ya whinging and let's get moving or it'll soon be dark - and then we'll have the roos and wombats to worry about as well," I suggested in my customary conciliatory tone.

As for that "it'll soon be dark" comment, when the day in question is the winter solstice - the shortest day of the year - then things couldn't get much worse. Or could they?

SHEEPISH SIMON
"Errr, I seem to have lost my clear visor," explained a sheepish Simon atop Thredbo's Dead Horse Gap, as dusk and the approaching snowstorm descended upon us ever so rapidly. "I had it tucked inside my jacket at our last stop, but it's not there anymore."

Needless to say, a short back-track along the road for Simon as he searched for his missing visor only managed to fuel the festering mutiny sores of Russell and Sam all the more. Photographer Phil could only look on in stunned amazement as D&D VI began to disintegrate around him.

Great! Given Simon's dark tint visor and my slightly lighter iridium version, the only solution was to tape my clear spare Shoei visor on to Simon's AGV lid, while I soldiered on through the rain and the dark with my tinted visor still firmly in place.

Still, what would a D&D be if someone wasn't getting either their eyeballs and cheeks sandblasted by rain drops (visor up!), or having to follow the disappearing taillight of the bike in front over pitch-black forest roads (visor down!). Except instead of it being Bracksy on the inaugural D&D in 1997, due incidentally to his own stupidity in not even bringing a clear visor, this time it was me - and through no fault of my own.

No wonder the confused roo just out of Corryong decided to help me out by allowing the other four bikes to ride by before hopping along the white line in the centre of the road to show me the way! Ummm, thanks Skippy...

SNOT TRAILS
Visorless travel is not recommended. By the time we rolled into Tallangatta at the end of Day Two I was not at my most photogenic - my eyeballs must have looked like two poached eggs, my cheeks were red-raw from frostbite and I had Bracks-like frozen snot trails welding my stunned facial expression permanently in place.

My misfortune had at least brought a smile to Russell's dial, and he had calmed down somewhat after getting a cold beer and a home-cooked meal in his tummy, plus pole position in front of the roaring log fire.

With the day's earlier tensions seemingly on hold, it was an opportune time to assess the mid-semester progress of the four bikes, although we still had the next day's ride via some of Victoria's high country and the bike-magic Running Creek Road to Myrtleford to round out this year's soiree.

Day Three would in fact confirm our initial impressions rather than throw up any new evidence, with two bikes firming as user-friendly sporting roadbike favourites - surprisingly the R1 and the Blade. I say surprisingly, because these two are the smallest and nimblest of the quartet, attributes seemingly more suited to the racetrack.

The Honda earns points due to its smallness (seat height is significantly lower than the other three), its superb front brakes and its high build quality. It doesn't quite match the R1 in the suspension department, or for feel at the throttle in that crucial on/off area when getting back on the power, but the Blade's gearbox is far smoother. Then again, the R1 has the torquier powerplant of the two, develops more rear-wheel horsepower and weighs just 2kg more fully fuelled (although it should be noted that the R1 carries one less litre of PULP than the other three - which equates to an 'advantage' of around 0.7kg). Take your pick.

UNANIMOUS INDESCISION
So what's all this prove? Is there an overall unanimous winner? Probably not, given the second opinions of the test team on page 36 (AMCN Vol#52-02).

The ZX-9R was unbelievably close to the other three on the stopwatch at Master Bike, and is even closer in real world road conditions. It's got a number of everyday comforts the others can't match, but loses out in sportsbike scratching on tighter roads. Buy the Kwaka if you intend riding around the coast road from Brisbane to Adelaide each year on your hols.

The Honda and the Yamaha are hard to split, with the former the smallest, lightest and most nimble of the quartet. Plus it's the cheapest.

The R1 fits nicely between the lithe CBR954RR and the dyno-stomping GSX-R1000 - just as it did in its feel on the track at Master Bike.

Suzuki's GSX-R1000 is still king of the racetrack, and the big bully of the class. But all that horsepower can't always be put to best effect in the real world. Of course, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy owning a bike that allows you to boast that your's is bigger.

I guess all that's missing to make them 'perfect' are heated grips, studded ice tyres and hands-free mobile phone access. That way Russell could contact his solicitor to seek legal advice instantly - anytime, anywhere. Wonder who I'll be able to get to tag along on next year's D&D...