Honda CB900F Hornet

Stinger Missile

Some bikes make you smile, some bikes make you giggle, and some bikes - like this blinged out Honda Hornet 900 - simply make you howl like a deranged loon... This bike has the capacity to reduce you to a drooling mess and blow your 'Captain Sensible' façade into the weeds, as you go in search of new and inventive ways to scare old ladies and make children cry.

Okay, so maybe I'm getting a little carried away with myself, but then that's exactly what has happened each and every time I've hopped aboard the latest offering from Honda Australia's press fleet garage.

BACKGROUND BRIEFING
Honda introduced the CB900F Hornet in 2002. The CB600F Hornet had sold steadily enough since 1998, so it seemed to make sense that a bad-ass bigger brother might also hit the spot. With a 919cc older format Fireblade engine slotted in place, you certainly couldn't whinge about the grunt, and its upright ride position and broad bars made it a mobile jungle gym of licence-burning fun.

Hornet Snr has also been a steady seller in Australia over the years, but to spur those sales on Honda Australia thought it would turn one into a project bike, to show just one example of what's possible.

JOB DESCRIPTION
You can take a look at the add-ons in the panel below, but what I want to concentrate on is the laugh-yer-guts-up ride this well and truly pimped steed delivers. In short, if I was going to buy this bike I'd save everyone a helluva lot of trouble and hand my licence in to the cops before I took delivery of it. It's that much fun.

The note of those twin Moriwaki slip-ons sends a tingle up your spine with every blip of the throttle, while its sheer power and grunt - while less than earth-shattering on paper - translates into an arm-wrenching ride of pure delight. Throw in the fact it's ready to hoist its front wheel skywards at the slightest flick of the clutch, and this baby is guaranteed to rock your world.

The front brakes, with trick 'flame' rotors and braided lines, are superb, while the motocross-style bars only seem to encourage acts of anti-social mischief. Non-riding folk couldn't hope to understand...

BEING SENSIBLE FOR A MOMENT
The thing is, it's really just a stock bike with some added eye-candy. The engine hasn't been touched, and its fuelling hasn't even been re-mapped. Its suspension is stock too. If you wanted to build the bike you're looking at now, you'd need a few basic tools and an hour or two - and that's it.

Complaints? The sidestand is difficult to hook from beneath the rearset; the mirrors are next to useless and then there's the cost. The bottom line for all that bling is around $10,000 - throw in the $12,000 starting price and you're looking at a hefty wad of cash indeed.

I could also list Honda's typically high level of refinement in there too. "That's a bad thing?" I hear you ask. Well not necessarily, it's just that for a bike that purports to be a hooligan machine, in stock form you could even say it's a little bland - almost too good to be 'bad'. Still, it's amazing how a few aftermarket bits can sex up a bike's personality - and the creation before you is rolling proof.

YOUR FINAL WARNING
If there's even the slightest twinkle of a maniac lurking deep within your biking psyche, stay well clear of the 900 Hornet, especially one like this. Go back to your wife and kids, and have normal conversations over the Cornflakes at breakfast. Me? I'd rather snap one up and never look back - and when I'm not riding the wheels off it, I'll make do with spontaneous cackling and throwing rocks at the moon...

PIMP YOUR RIDE
Want to hot up your Hornet? To turn what was already an awesome giggle machine into a true stunner of street-fighting cool, Honda Oz threw on a heap of bits and pieces. Run through Honda's shopping list and check out what your budget would cover.