FEATURE: Across the Simpson with Beattie

It doesn’t rain much out here. And when it does, you’re never here to see it.

Everything is scorched and roasted red, like the sky is a gigantic grill turned up to max and left on for a millennia. The sand is deep, treacherous, energy sapping and never-ending. It’s easy to see how men far braver than I have come to meet their maker in this desolate, lonely expanse.

You really get an idea of how insignificant you are in a place like the Simpson Desert. It’s a mystical, magical place, enormous beyond explanation. Water is so scarce. Incredibly, life is sustained here, from spiders to snakes and dingoes.

But tonight, water is not scarce. Tonight is the final night for the return leg of the Daryl Beattie Adventures Simpson Desert tour, and we’ve scored front row seats to a lightshow to rival New Years Eve on Sydney Harbour. Lightning and thunder crack in the distance and blaze the desert sky purple and silver like an Aussie version of the Northern Lights, and 10 grown men sit and stare like kids, mesmerised by nature. It’s a perfect ending to what has been one of the best weeks’ motorcycling any of us, including Daryl himself, could have imagined.

But it’s about to get better. The benefit of having such a monumental drenching – aside from seeing nature at her most dramatic – means the final 240km to our last stop at Birdsville in Outback Queensland is like having the world’s best motocross track, groomed and graded, all to yourself and your new best buddies. The rain has made the sand almost hard-packed, meaning you can ride it like a racetrack – pushing the front, whipping the back into natural sandy berms and pinning the throttle of the Honda CRF450X like Juan Barreda in the Dakar. This is a bucket list moment. Even Daryl admits, “You probably get one of these days once every five years.”

About 40kms into the ride we reach Poppell’s Corner – named after Augustus Poppell, the South Australian Government surveyor – which signals the meeting point for South Australia, Queensland and the Northern Territory.

Four hours into the day’s ride, we’re knackered, spent from having the bikes pinned for so long and laughing and grinning so hard our faces hurt. “It’s days like these I remember why I really love dirtbikes!” Adrian, a property developer from Queensland’s Gold Coast belts out. We all nod, smile and agree. And go back to lying half comatosed after lunch and get ready for the QAA line into Birdsville.

The previous four and a half days gave real meaning to the term ‘adventure’. This is not a ride to get coffee. This is real adventure, on light bikes built for speed – Honda CRF450Xs – something I guess you’d expect from one of Australia’s most successful MotoGP exponents.

Our ride snakes from Alice Springs in the Northern Territory, through Mount Dare and into South Australia, before looping back into Queensland and eventually Birdsville (the first group went Birdsville-Alice Springs). We get pounded on the French Line, swim in hot water in Dalhousie Springs and camp under the shadows of the famous Lone Gum tree.

And we all make 10 new mates.

Before the crew met in Alice Springs, most riders knew only one person on the trip – that being Daryl. By the second night there’s piss-taking and story telling, all of us aware nothing this good ever lasts long, so we make the most of it. We all help with the packing and unloading of the mighty Unimog, set-up camp and stay the f*** out of the kitchen when Daryl’s brother-in-law and professional chef Grant is doing his thing. The food is incredible.

By the end of the final day we’ve grown tremendously as riders, our skill levels and confidence on a distinct upward climb and as we proceed to successfully drink the Birdsville pub out of beer we’re already thinking about the reunion in 12 months’ time. It’s been that kind of a trip.

It’s been that kind of a trip because everything – from a punter’s perspective – has been taken care of. Daryl Beattie, a man famous for riding very, very fast and going to-to-toe with Mighty Mick Doohan loves this country, having been born in Charleville in Queensland’s central south. He’s had tremendous help from his mates in setting this company up, three of which are on this ride now – Scooter, one of the most unassuming and down-to-earth blokes you’ll ever meet is the Unimog driver; Grant is the man charged with the meals; and Rocket Ron, sweep rider and a man who describes himself as “living the dream” of riding all over the world on dirtbikes after a career in the construction industry.

Day one sees us leave Alice Springs and hit the dirt about 10km later, the last tar we’ll see for a week. This is the road that follows the Finke Desert Race track, and something I’ve always wanted to ride. But the pace we run is nothing like what the boys in the race do, but it’s still epic fun. The sand is super-fine, and you can use the course to help you and the bike soak up speed while looking for the next obstacle, which you’re probably already in. What a rush! The track runs 141 miles in each direction, and all the time you can see the refueling stops painted on old car bonnets littering the side of the track.

Further on we ride through the Aboriginal town of Finke (the halfway point of the race), past the South Australian border and into Mount Dare, having covered about 350kms. This is the transport day and is the straightest piece of road we’ll see all week – from here on it will only get tougher. We unload the Unimog and get the first taste of Grant’s exceptional cooking. Top that off with some beers and it’s about as good as life gets.

Day two is our first encounter with the notorious French Line, but it will have to wait as we hit up an oasis in the middle of nowhere – Dalhousie Springs. Dalhousie Springs is like a natural, upside down shower of around 80 holes called mound springs. The water itself comes from Queensland and the Northern Territory and is heated by the earth’s core. It’s the world’s biggest bath.

Back in gear, after we pass old colonial housing wrecks and windmills and the ground gets progressively sandier, we see the first dune. The French Line is the shortest and most direct route across the Simpson, but it’s also the toughest and can be one of two things: Paradise on a dirtbike or hell if you don’t know how to ride one. Luckily the CRF450Xs are built for this kind of riding, and the harder it gets the more the bikes love it. It’s conversely the opposite for my arms, which are now pumped to the point where I can hardly hang onto the bike. A bit of stretching and yet more piss-taking from the guys gets me right though, and I decide to take it a bit easier on day three just to make sure I’m good for the run to the flag.

Our campsite for the night is Georges Corner, a massive crater in the middle of nowhere, like someone dropped a bomb on the place a thousand years ago. It seems to be a happy place to die, as at the end of the crater I see a few dingo skeletons turning to dust.

Day three sees us taking in the Rig Road to Lone Gum. The Rig Road is the longest route across the Simpson and was once used for heavy machinery but its old clay surface is now eroding, and you’d hate to take a big rig down it now – Scooter doesn’t seem to mind.

Today we get the kind of heat we’d been expecting all trip. Up until this point we’d absolutely nailed the weather – the hottest it has been was around 25C now it’s well into the high 30s. Scooter measures the ground temp at 45.5 and calls us all pussies – the crew before us, running from Birdsville to Alice Springs, had temps like this or more every day with a ground temp well into the 50s. Water is getting downed like it’s never going to run out.

Today is also the day I make my freestyle motocross debut. Following Daryl up a steep dune, I totally forget how to ride and bury the nose of the CRF into the dune.

“Hey mate, have you ever ridden before?” smartarse Daryl says.

We arrive at the Lone Gum late in the afternoon, set up camp and get stuck into some beers. Lone Gum is interesting in that this mammoth Box Eucalypt tree really shouldn’t be here. These trees are normally found in clay-laced soils near waterways, so how this thing has survived here in the seared landscape of the Simpson Desert remains a bit of a mystery.

Day four and we hit up the WAA line and Erabena Track. The WAA line is like the French Line’s little brother, not quite as powerful but still packing a decent punch. After the ease of yesterday we’re back into it – deep sand, hundreds of dunes and saltpan crossings.

Today’s a big day, covering over 270km and eventually hooking back up with the French Line for the night’s camp and Mother Nature’s fireworks display. Now, 270km might not sound like a big deal but when you’re doing to 30km/h in some sections and knackered from the dunes it will take you all day.

As we settle into the night show and get ready for the final day’s epic riding into Birdsville, we’re all a little nostalgic. By all accounts this past week has been the most fun any of us have had on two wheels for a bloody long time. And it was so because there wasn’t really anything you could fault.

I’m sure Daryl will find things to fine-tune as he’s still new to this adventure tour game, but for a first up effort he’s done exceptionally well. The camps were as comfortable as you could have hoped for, the beds and showers a godsend, and the food Grant prepared has been outstanding. The crew has also been top grade. Rocket and Scooter both did their jobs flawlessly, and we all enjoyed listening to Daryl’s stories about racing 500cc Grand Prix in the age of the titans.

Seven days away is the perfect time to get out there and enjoy a dirtbike, especially when all you have to is rock up with your gearbag. Everything else is taken care of, so all you have to do is ride at your own pace, keep it upright (ahem) and have a blast.

The Honda CRF450X
The trip was made all the more memorable thanks to the Honda CRF450X machines that we had the use of. The Hondas never missed a beat the entire time, handling the deep sand and hard-packed trails with ease.

The Michelin Desert tyres also played their part well – not one rider suffered a puncture and you probably would have been able to get another 600 miles or so more riding out of the tyres before you needed to replace them.

The Hondas were modified using 25-litre Safari tanks, which gave us enough fuel to get through most days on a single tank. They handled brilliantly on a full tank, a little top heavy but once you’re used to them you’d never notice – especially if you’re used to riding big adventure bikes.

Other mods included radiator guards, new chains from RK Chains, steel sprockets (gearing was changed to go one tooth up on the front and three down on the rear), DBR sprocket and chain covers/protectors, a bash plate and standard handlebar guards were fitted. Daryl and Ron’s bike also run a cig lighter point for keeping iPads charged on the go.

The 450 engine was perfect for this type of terrain, with an excellent spread of power despite the taller gearing. The modifications carried out, along with the performance of the 450 engine, make this the perfect bike for this type of terrain.