Ducati S4 Monster

There's a lengthy list of simple things that give me pleasure in this bureaucrat-bound, legislation-laden world of ours. Enjoying a good book, savouring a top beer or 10, making love in a bath of warm custard - the list goes on and on.

And now I've added one more: caning a Ducati S4 Monster, anywhere, anytime. Well, perhaps not absolutely anywhere, anytime - in fact my recent trip to the summit of a snow-capped Victorian mountain peak shrouded in fog and drizzle required quite a conservative right hand - but given a dry bit of blacktop, this Monster howls. And it's a stack more exciting than burying your nose in a book, and nowhere near as messy as getting amongst it in the custard - or downing 10 ales for that matter...

LONG TIME COMING
When Ducati engineer Miguel Galluzzi's 1991 doodlings led to the birth of the Monster genre, he'd originally envisioned it with the arse-whipping powerplant of the four-valve 888 Superbike. But, as it turned out, demand for the 888 was far outstripping supply, whereas the two-valve 900SS wasn't the success Ducati had hoped it would be - you didn't have to be Einstein to figure out what was going to happen...

Now the 900 Monster is a good thing, no doubt about it - but the desmoquattro-kitted S4 kicks butt, and kicks 'em hard. It might have taken Ducati the best part of 10 years, but believe me - it's been well worth the wait.

Incidentally, the desmodue-powered Monster will continue to be sold alongside the S4, in Monster Dark and Monster Special guise, for $13,995 (plus ORC) and $15,495 (plus ORC) respectively.

As to why the Monster's steroid shot didn't come in the form of the 996 powerplant, well, it may well be a case of a present day parallel - more 916 donks kicking around the Bologna factory than 996 units? Perhaps, although the cynic in me suspects the use of the lower-capacity engine could lead to a further round of sales should a 996-powered muscle machine break cover down the track.

But enough speculation - the sun's shining outside so let's fire the beast up and give that bit o' plastic in our wallets a damn good workout...

COMFORT AND CLASS
There's two things you notice when you hop aboard the S4 - the quality of its finish and the super-comfy ride position. In fact, for a lanky lout like myself, the ride position is made to order, with just a slight lean forward to the wide, leverage-affording 'bars. There's plenty of legroom too, while the slim but buttock-friendly seat is relatively low.

The S4's finish is typical of Ducatis these days - deep, lustrous paint topped off with quality fittings, brackets and instruments. There's a stack of carbon-fibre too. Real carbon-fibre too, none of this fake plastic crap, and on the S4 it accounts for the front guard, rear hugger and chain guard, muffler heat shields and sidepanels, among other things.

Of course by the time you finish admiring the cosmetics and thumb the starter, you're greeted by nothing more than a fruitlessly-turning starter motor, care of the S4's new G-code security system.

Basically, if you don't fire the bugger up within 15 seconds of turning the ignition on with the bike's original, G-code equipped key, it won't start. You simply have to turn the ignition off and on again to start it once and for all, but then if you're not aware of the G-code in the first place it might take you a bit to work it out - wouldn't you agree Mr Fattore?

But when the beast does roar into life you're certainly not left guessing the heritage of the bike beneath you. A wonderfully throaty rumble emanates from the bike's twin pipes, at a level and note which must surely put it head and shoulders above 99 percent of other bikes fitted with stock exhaust systems. Having said that, a nice set of Termignonis would transform the S4 into a religious experience on wheels in my books - never satisfied, am I?

DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD
Pull in the dry clutch (and notice I said "pull" and not "employ an industrial vice"; Ducati clutches have become noticeably more user-friendly in recent history), prod the positive but relatively heavy six-speed gearbox into first, a twist of the wrist and you're off - more often than not with the front wheel pawing the air, if you're predisposed to such one-wheeled antics.

That 'otto valvole' powerplant is a godsend in a package like this, in much the same way as Suzuki's terrific TL1000 donk is to the Cagiva Raptor, which no doubt is the biggest inspiration behind Ducati finally bringing the four-valver to the Monster anyway.

Aesthetically, the S4 looks a little messier than the M900 courtesy of all the extra piping and paraphernalia associated with the liquid-cooled desmoquattro engine, but all thoughts of aesthetics are instantly forgotten once you're off and rolling and twisting that handgrip.

With a shade under 98ps and 8.7kg-m of torque (with both figures coming in at 8600rpm and 6950rpm respectively) there's plenty of fun to be had, be your modus operandi focus upon back-road blasting or city-bound hi-jinks.

Interestingly enough, the S4's torque is only a bee's dick higher than that of the desmodue Monster, with the two-valve generating higher torque until just before the S4 hits its peak. But take a look at the dyno charts on page 34 and you'll see that above 6000rpm, the S4's got it all over its little brother in the power stakes.

Useable power is available from as low as 2000rpm, while cruising at 100kmh in top sees the tacho needle creep to a lazy 3400rpm - with its redline set at around 10,000rpm, the wind blast will be trying hard to wrench you clean off the bike long before you reach terminal velocity.

The relaxed, loping S4 transforms into a firebreathing rocket with a twist of the throttle, its wonderfully chunky midrange mumbo making equally light work of any overtaking manoeuvring on the open road or devouring a bendy bit of blacktop.

GOOD VIBRATIONS
Around town or loping down the highway, there's just enough vibration to let you know you're aboard a V-twin, with the vibes increasing noticeably above 7500rpm - but by this stage if you're hovering in the region for some period of time you'll generally be having so much fun you won't notice anyway. Either that or you don't have a pulse...

The mixture is handled by Marelli electronic fuel injection (with 50mm throttle bodies), and by all accounts the system does a good job, delivering crisp, clean response without necessitating your knees taking a constant vice-like grip of the tank around town to keep things smooth.

The S4's grunt means you can pretty much select a gear and stay there on a lot of roads, although tighter roads can see you drop down to second or even first given the tallish nature of the latter.

But don't mistake the S4 just for a city-bound hooligan machine. Granted, it's not an 'allrounder' in the true sense of the word: given its exposed-to-the-elements lack of bodywork, somewhat limited gear carrying capability and range (at around 15.5km/lt, approximately 220km), it's not the world's best touring bike. But point this baby at a curvy ribbon of road and get set to eat some sportsbikes.

QUALITY PACKAGE

The ST4-derived chassis and quality suspenders embrace their respective jobs without complaint, providing what amounts to a mobile jungle gym for you to climb over and swing off like a lunatic on your favourite set of twisties.

You see, all this jolly good performance comes in quite a diminutive, nimble package. A (claimed) dry weight of 193kg, when coupled with a 1440mm wheelbase and 24-degree steering-head angle, allow the S4 to be flicked from side to side with ease, and while its oomph sees the front go all light and wobbly-like, I never experienced anything remotely resembling a slapper.

The upside-down 43mm Showa forks and Sachs rear shock are both fully adjustable, and offer a compliant ride which is a good compromise between racetrack rigidity and real-world comfort.

Ground clearance is on the average side by sportsbike standards - that generous legroom has to come from somewhere - but still allows more jollies to be had than your average grown adult probably deserves. If it's a big problem for you either stop whingeing at volume around groups of bikers how much you have to shell out on kneesliders, or fergawdsake lean off the bike!

NARY A NEGATIVE

Spearing into space/the nearest tree/the back of a bus is never a good thing, so thankfully the S4's braking package is more than up to the task of slowing the scenery down. Four-piston Brembo calipers have been mated with large, 320mm floating steel disc up the front, with a twin-piston job (with 245mm disc) handling duties down the rear.

Both offer a heap of feel, and the power of the front stoppers is impressive, with negligible pressure needed at both lever or pedal to press either into respective service.

So are there any negatives amid all this praise and admiration. Well, err, no - not really. Its limited steering lock, although yet another aspect pointing towards the bike's sporting abilities, can make low speed manoeuvring a more calculated affair - although cutting through peak hour snarls is still a snap courtesy of its V-twin derived, slim lines.

The S4's mirrors give a good view to the rear, and are surprisingly blur free for a Vee - when they're there, that is. Our test machine's right hand mirror lens abandoned ship en route while in our tenure, no doubt another symptom of a rough interstate ride in a transporter before we got our mitts on it. The testbike's tiny bikini fairing had also copped a hammering in transit, the smashed item being replaced just before we picked the bike up.

While on the subject, that little screen does make quite a difference at speed on the open road, although personally I think it takes away from the bike's raw, aggressive stance - horses for courses.

The S4 Monster also comes with a classy pillion seat cowl which slides off to reveal a pillion perch - my backseat regular tells me its comfy enough, and also comes with decent legroom.

There's an extensive list of factory go-fast and look-fast goodies on offer for the S4 Monster (like the rest of the Monster range), with everything from tasty carbon-fibre doo-dads to crazy tank paint jobs and everything in between - see your Duc dealer for more info.

BUDGET BLASTER

Priced at $17,995, the S4 Monster sits significantly higher on the pricing scale than its competitors, with Buell's X1 Lightning priced at $18,299, Cagiva's Raptor 1000 and V-Raptor 1000 at $15,990 and $16,990 respectively, Yamaha's FZ1 at $15,799 and Triumph's Speed Triple at $15,950 (plus ORC). But once you take into account the machine's high-spec pedigree, it all starts to make sense.

In fact, when you begin to look at the S4 Monster in the framework of being a budget 916/996 hypersports in a ergonomically friendly nutter package - which essentially is what it is - it looks like a value for money package after all.

And of course, it's got that all-important Ducati badge on the tank, a feature which for some will seal the deal, and make those extra dollars worthwhile.

I'll echo the rest of the world's motorcycling press here and say the S4 Monster is finally the bike it should have been all along. Just take one for a spin and you'll immediately see why - it's a hoot through and through. Hell, I'll take the S4 over a custard-filled bath any day...