Ducati Diavel Dark

“Hi, is that Ducati? I’ve just received a paint order from you and it looks like you’ve got the quantity of matt paint wrong. I mean, with this amount you could spray the whole bike black and … Oh, that what you are going to do? Really?”

Yup, blacker than a miner’s arse on a cloudy desert night, Ducati’s Diavel Dark’s name leaves no doubt as to which one of the four-bike Diavel range it is.

Part Judge Dredd, part Batman, part sportster and a whole lot of funk, the bike is impossible to sum up in a sentence (lucky that, as I’m on a word rate…).

It’s no shrinking violet, that’s for sure. It’s a large, moody, impressive piece of $23,990 real estate that hides a secret – it’s bloody fun to ride.

There’s so much design on this bike it’s hard to know where to start, but that back tyre seems to be as good a place as any. I know that some of the more outrageous chopper creations out there run rear hoops that are 300mm wide and over, but the 240-section Pirelli on the Diavel looks phat. Coupled to the single arm, it helps the comic book-design of the bike come to life. And that’s with the factory rego plate support still in place. Remove that and the tyre becomes as subtle as a sawn-off being waived in a bank.

And it’s that back tyre that sets the tone of this Monster on steroids. Because as anyone that has experience of fitting stupidly large tyres on a bike with a long wheelbase knows, the cool looks do nothing for the ride. Go too big at the rear and you’ll pay at the bars. Each corner becomes a wrestle as the rear of the machine holds up the front from doing its job. And herein lies the Diavel’s secret – it actually handles very well.

Now, let me put that in context. You’re not worrying laps records on the 1198cc bruiser, but you are having mucho, macho fun come the twisties. There’s not much counter-steering needed to get this bike on its ear (or footpegs) and it’s rock-solid when there. The ground clearance does limit this action, but that’s no bad thing as the front starts to feel slightly vague at this point. There’s not a drama with this, but you can feel the bar’s feedback just getting lighter in your hands as the weight comes off the front tyre. Watch MotoGP to see what happens after that point…

The engine comes from the last generation Multistrada and is a peach. Ride it over 4000rpm and it has a turbine-like smoothness and punch. It’ll wheelie off the throttle in the first ratio, offering the rider a bird’s eye view of the sky, and drives hard through the box. With arms stretched forward and your torso more upright than most bikes, that speed sensation is exaggerated as you’re pushed towards the back of the bike. Great.

On the over-run, the engine sounds like a B-double engine braking for a corner. Brrrrrraaaaaahhhbbbbbbooooooorrrr. If you like a bike to talk to you, then this bike’s speaking your language.

Comfort-wise, Ducati offers a higher seat for the taller rider. That’d be a good investment, as I found that I was sitting more on the base of my spine that the fat of my land. Two-up, this upright stance would push the pillion back, meaning they preferred to hold on to the rider than to utilise the nifty grabrail. That’s accessed by taking the dual saddle off, lifting a knob and pulling the rail out from its normal hiding place of under the seat. My girlfriend’s comments centred on when we could buy one of these bikes, so that would indicate that the ride from the pillion seat is great – either that or she likes being Robin to my Batman. Tuck ya briefs in, love…

The Diavel Dark is another ace in the modern Ducati quiver. It’s a left-field bike (think what Yamaha’s V-Max is to their R1) and the ideal alternative for the sportsbike rider looking for a new direction that doesn’t involve dressing up like a cowboy at the weekends and an inability to do twisties. It handles, it stops and goes around corners well. It stops kids in their tracks and helps them practice the art of pointing and shouting. It makes grown men stroke their chins and women fall in love with you (okay, that might be a stretch – it’s only a bike after all).

Most of all, in a time when crippling speed limits and crowded roads threaten to rob you of any sense of freedom, it makes every ride turn into a chuckle. I like very much.

DUCATI DIAVEL DARK IN BIKE SHOWROOM