Advice: Cheap ways to beat the cold and wet

A few dollars' worth of hot chips

If you’re caught in a cold snap and are less than an hour from your destination, you can’t go past a bundle of hot chips wrapped in paper and shoved down the front of your jacket. Not only is it instantly warm, but you’ll also get to enjoy the warm and comforting smell of deep fried potatoes all the way home. Another bonus is fish and chip shops normally operate outside the standard nine-to-five opening hours, so your chances of finding one when you need one are generally pretty good.

Plastic shopping bags

If you've still got any left, shove a few under your seat or in your tank bag and you’ll never find yourself with wet feet again. The key to keeping warm is keeping dry, so when the rain starts pull a woolies bag on between your sock and your outer boot and it will ensure you have dry and warm(er) feet at the other end. Take the time to remove your boot and put them over your feet, too. Not only will it work more effectively, but you won’t look like those nongs you see with the shopping bag tied over their feet.

Latex gloves

Be it howling rain or bitterly cold, thin latex gloves can help. If it’s raining, a latex glove worn between your skin and your outer gloves can achieve two things. Firstly, the dye from your gloves won’t leave you with stained skin for the next week and, using the same logic that if you’re dry, you’re warmer, it makes your not-quite waterproof glove fully waterproof. Because nobody likes wet hands. Some people opt to wear a rubber washing up glove on the outside of their riding gloves, but when you can pick up a box of 50 latex gloves for less than $10 at Bunnings, there’s no excuse to look like a nong.

The Saturday paper

If you can’t find a fish and chip shop open to grab some deep-fried warmth (see point #1) or you can’t stand the smell of spuds submerged in cooking fat wafting up into your helmet, then layering is the key to keep your torso warm. A cheap and effective way to do this is with a decent layer of newspaper between your t-shirt and your jacket. With a warm(er) torso comes a better maintained core temperature, and the last thing any rider wants is a dropping core temperature. Not only will it play havoc with your concentration levels, but your body will prioritise where its sending blood and it will take it (and its associated warmth) away from your extremities to protect your organs.

Four inches off the bottom of your least-favourite shirt

A neck warmer can mean the difference between being a bit cold and being really bloody cold, and when you’re really bloody cold you’re not concentrating as much on the road and the environment around you as you should be. Neck warmers don’t need to be bulky to improve your comfort and concentration levels, either. And experience has taught me that if you cut 10cm strip of the bottom of your least-favourite t-shirt so it remains in a loop, and double it to reduce its diameter by half, you’ve just made yourself an effective (if not your next favourite) neck warmer.

Eat something

After sex, digestion is the second-most strenuous thing your body can do (apparently) and with strenuous activity comes rising temperatures. If you're really cold and losing concentration (and can’t find a fish and chip shop, some woolies bags, a pair of latex gloves, a pair of scissors to cut your shirt or the Saturday paper), then stop and eat something. Time off the bike will help restore your concentration levels, get you out of the wind and rain for 10 minutes and give your body something to do to help raise your temperature slightly for the next leg of your trip.

RELATED: Advice: Preparing for winter riding

This article was originally published on June 26, 2019.